Thanks
Counsellor
It sounds like you benefitted from counselling in the past to help you put some healthy boundaries between you and your Mum. Putting boundaries in place may mean having more distance at times. It will also mean learning to stay strong and hold your ground. You can't change your mother's behaviour; the only thing you can work on (and change) are your responses. It's recognising you have a choice -either to go along with what your mother wishes, or to say 'no' - this does not need to be done reactively or aggressively; in fact you willl be more powerful when you are calm and measured in your responses. Holding your ground may also mean letting your mother know that it is never OK to use abusive words when talking to you, and to have a consequence when she does this (i.e. not continuing to have the conversation with her until she is able to speak respectfully). To do all of this, you may need to resume counselling, to help you learn strategies and skills, and to give you the support to apply these. These strategies and skills need not happen at the expense of your relationship with your Mum - in fact, they may improve it for both of you. All the best.
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