Counsellor
It sounds like you are feeling not only stuck, but perhaps torn between the need to move on with your own life and the need to ensure that your kids have an ongoing relationship with their father. Not an easy situation! It is very concerning that you are feeling so desparate that you have thought about hurting yourself - it's important that you take this very seriously and get some help for yourself. Speaking with a counsellor may help you work through how to set some boundaries with your ex and ensure your own needs are net as well as those of your children. A good place to start may be with your GP - he or she can refer you to a psychologist who can help you with strategies for managing your negative feelings and thoughts. You may also want to try connecting on line to Beyond Blue - this will give you information to help you decide whether you are suffering from depression and if so, where to get help. They are at https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/depression. You may also find phone counselling helpful as a starting point - try Lifeline at 13 11 14. All the best.
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