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  • Q&A with Australian Health Practitioners

    How do I cope with my high anxiety levels?

    Related Topics
    Anxiety Depression Mental Health
    I have lost 2 sons, 2009 & 2011, to Muscular Dystrophy, and have 2 nephews with the same illness.

    My anxiety levels seem to be at their maximum always and then other things life throws at you seem to put me over the edge, especially financial, but other things also.

    I feel physically ill and can't sleep for worrying.

    One of my nephews is not well, and I am extremely close to him, I don't know how I will cope when he passes away.
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    Renee Mill

    Clinical Psychologist, Psychologist

    Empowering people is my passion and life work. I have been working as a Clinical Psychologist in private practice for over thirty years. I have … View Profile

    I am so sorry for your losses. You have had a lot of pain to bear. And now - your nephews...

    The fight/flight response is activated when there is real danger or perceived danger. In your case, the danger is real. 

    Mindfulness practice will be the best place to start. By sitting quiety, and observing the pain you feel without judgement, you will obtain some relief. This is called "distress tolerance" and has been utilised successfully with cancer sufferers.

    Continue practicing mindfulness daily. By learning to be focused on the here and now, and not focusing on the past or future, you will feel less anxious.

    Research has shown that people who have hope, and purpose, are more optimistic and resilient. If you could find a purpose in your life that would provide meaning and hope, your anxiety will lessen.

    Working with a competent psychologist will help you with mindfulness practice and finding meaning.

    I wish you strength and sucess in your endevours.

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    Vivienne Colegrove

    Counsellor

    I have been working in Eltham, Melbourne as a relationship and family counsellor for over twelve years. I draw on current theory and research about … View Profile

    In addition to Renee's excellent advice, I would just like to add that it sounds like you are grieving, and this has become somwhat complicated. Not only are you grieving the loss of your own children, but now it sounds like you are anticipating the loss of your nephews. Sometimes too, current situations can bring up past grief - I wonder if your nephews' situation is bring up some difficult feelings for you associated with losing your own children. Anxiety is an understandable response to all of this - you are dealing with a lot! While mindfulness may certainly be a wonderful way to help you cope with your grief, it may also be useful to seek out some extra counselling support for yourself, to process some of the feelings that may be sitting there for you.

    All the best, Vivienne

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    Anthony Berrick

    Psychologist

    The way you're feeling sounds perfectly normal, but incredibly painful. As a father, it's just gut-wrenching even attempting to comprehend how it must feel to be in your shoes. I'm truly sorry for what you have been through. 

    Personally, I doubt whether it would be realistic (or meaningful) to try to change the way you feel about these losses. But there's no reason why you couldn't learn some skills to handle these feelings in a way that frees you up to live in the present moment and focus on effectively doing what matters most to you.

    One particular mindfulness-based therapy that takes this view on suffering is called acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT). The goal of ACT is to live a rich, full and meaningful life while learning skills to handle the pain that is normal and unavoidable.

    An ACT clinician would help you work towards goals based on your core values that would make life feel meaningful and worthwhile, while teaching you practical mindfulness skills that you can use to open up to difficult thoughts and feelings so they have less impact on you.

    Although ACT is a relatively recent behavioural therapy, there is already a large and growing body of scientific evidence supporting its effectiveness in treating a wide range of common issues such as anxiety and depression. 

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    Margie Ulbrick

    Counsellor

    I am a Melbourne Relationship Counsellor and Family Lawyer who is skilful in helping people get out of the pain of relationship distress and create … View Profile

    I am deeply sorry for your losses. You do not mention what support you have but the pain, grief and stresses are huge. Anxiety is just one of the effects of such complicated grief. And sleep issues are just part of this. Therapy can and does assist and I suggest you find a therapist who is an experienced grief counsellor or psychotherapist. 

    There are things you can do which will make a difference. If you find a medical doctor who is also a therapist then you will receive a medicare rebate for your therapy. May you be supported to bear the losses you have sustained and to manage the stresses that life is presenting.

     

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