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  • Q&A with Australian Health Practitioners

    How do our family move on from the death of our serviceman son?

    Related Topics
    Bereavement Mental Health Relationships
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    Frank Van de Mortel

    Psychologist

    Experienced in acute care of adults with mood and personality issues. Special interest in trauma related psychological injury (PTSD, ASD emergency services and military personnel … View Profile

    I don't think anyone can answer that question for you. The loss of a loved one is a life changing event.
    Hold your family close to you and be kind to yourself.
    Family and friends can often help us cope better but in my experience giving yourself permission to grieve and , at some time in the future, giving yourself permission to live a meaningful life are milestones in the journey.

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  • Dr Simon Easterbrook-Smith

    Health Professional

    My research interests include immunology and the mechanisms of amyloid formation. The latter has implications for people who are dealing with Alzheimer's Disease, Parkinson's Disease … View Profile

    I am sorry to read of the death of your son and I think that Frank has given you wise advice.

    My only suggestion is to remember that grieving follows its own path and its own time. Whatever is right for *you* is the *only*  thing that matters.

    Please ignore people (however well-meaning) who try to tell you what you “should” or “should not” be feeling and doing.

    With care and support.

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  • The Australian Centre for Grief and Bereavement

    The Australian Centre for Grief and Bereavement is an independent, not-for-profit organisation established in 1996 to provide a range of education, counselling, research and clinical … View Profile

    The loss of a child for most parents seems unfathomable, especially when you have to add sudden and/or traumatic circumstances to the death. In regards to needing to move on, many parents say it is incredibly hard to comprehend the death, let alone being able to move on from losing a child, no matter the age.
     
    As the other two professionals have stated, everyone’s grief journey is incredibly personal and varied. What we will add is, that it may take lots of self-compassion, time and healthy support from family and friends for life to feel okay again. Many bereaved parents say their grief doesn’t ever truly fade, as part of their future has been ripped away. Rather, they relate that over time, they learn to grow their life around their grief, and integrate it into their changed world.

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