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  • Q&A with Australian Health Practitioners

    Pregnancy Fear - how do I get past it?

    Related Topics
    Anxiety Mental Health Pregnancy & Breastfeeding
    I have had 2 children - the first a caesarean due to complications, and secondly a VBAC. The 2nd birth happened very quickly in the end during which time I felt paralysed and out of control, nothing like what I have seen in birthing classes. The outcome was a healthy baby and a not-too physically scarred mother, but I can still vividly recall details of the birth and things said during the time. Being in the delivery suite now (as a visitor) leaves me in tears.

    I really want a caesarean delivery for my 3rd child (currently 28 weeks pregnant) despite knowing in my head that a natural birth would be better for the bub and my own recovery afterwards. Do I need counselling to move past the last birth experience? My obstetrician feels the last birth wasn't particularly traumatic in his opinion, so how do I get past the fear and anxiety which I think about constantly and lose sleep over?
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    Anonymous

    I'm not a professional but as a mother who had an emergency caesarean I can completely relate to trauma around birth. I thought about it for months after the delivery. I think first and foremost that your obs opinion is irrelavent in terms of how traumatic the birth was. It was traumatic for you so thats all that matters!

    If you want a caesarean you shouldn't feel ANY guilt about it and your ob should be supportive of your wishes. To be honest based on my own experience of healing from a caesarean and seeing and listening to my friends who had vaginal births around the same time as me, I had a much easier recovery and far less pain. My baby was comepltey unaffected by the caesarean, breastfed beautfully so based on my experience and healing time I will definitely be doing an elective caesarean 2nd time round. I have no desire what so ever to go through what I went through again during labour and nor do I feel the need to have counseling around the trauma of my birth. Time healed that for me.

    You should find yourself a supportive obstetrician who will respect your wishes and not feel pressured about “the natural way to birth”. Do what is best for YOU. Best of luck :)

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    Michelle Linmore

    Counselling Psychologist, Counsellor, Psychologist, Sex Therapist

    Birth trauma is much more common than we realize and I agree that it is irrelevant whether your obstetrician thinks the last birth was traumatic or not -it seems to have left you with quite a bit of anxiety and the teariness is probably a sign that it isn't fully resolved yet for you.  Given that you are facing another delivery soon, it is completely understandable that these feelings have been coming up.

    Did you know that in Australia your GP can refer you for non-directive pregnancy support counselling without diagnosing you with any mental health issue, and Medicare will provide a rebate for three sessions with a psychologist experienced in this area?  

    This may well be a good way to sort out in your own mind the best way forward here.  There are techniques such as relaxation training and self hypnosis which may assist significantly in preparing for your next baby (whichever method of delivery you choose).  I hope all goes well for you this time around.

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    Margie Ulbrick

    Counsellor

    I am a Melbourne Relationship Counsellor and Family Lawyer who is skilful in helping people get out of the pain of relationship distress and create … View Profile

    Hi, I recommend a counsellor and therapist who works with women to heal and integrate their traumatic birth experiences. Her name is Rachana Shivam. You can phone to make an appointment: 0430 798 551. She has a wealth of experience in the area as this is her specialty. All the best.

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    Dr Gary Sykes

    Obstetrician

    Dr Gary Sykes is a graduate Bachelor of Medicine and Bachelor of Surgery (M.B, B.S.) from Sydney University. He commenced his initial postgraduate training at … View Profile

    It sounds like your obstetrician doesn’t understand where you are at. If you would feel more comfortable with an elective Caesareans action then I suggest you insist. You are in your right. You can change obstetricians to one that is more sensitive to your needs if that is a preferable option.

    I had a new antenatal patient today (first visit) who had an emergency Caesarean section last pregnancy with another obstetrician. It was done for foetal distress in labour and under a general anaesthetic. She was told it was so a there was not enough time for a regional anaesthetic. It was an emotionally very traumatic experience for her.

    We discussed the pros and cons of an elective Caesarean section and VBAC in detail. I advised with a VBAC there is about a 40% chance of an emergency Caesarean section in labour for reasons such as lack of progress in labour, foetal distress and rupture of the uterus. The incident of rupture of the uterus in studies varies is generally quoted as 1 in 200. It can have considerable implications for mother and baby’s health. See my web site at http://www.obstetricexcellence.com.au/questions-answers/caesarean-section-2/

    An elective Caesarean section is a planned event which is booked to be done before she is likely to go into labour, As such her expectation is for Caesarean section, so she knows what will be happening. There is not the fear of what happened last time – the emergency Caesarean section. This certainty is very important and means she is more likely to enjoy her pregnancy and not have fear. It can be done with her awake and as a positive experience. I encourage the anaesthetic sister to lift her head so she can see her baby being born. I invite her to touch her baby immediately after delivery and later to cuddle her baby while the operation is being completed. He husband / partner is present. He is encouraged to take lots of photos and to cut the umbilical cord. As a ‘baby friendly’ Caesarean section her baby and husband stay with her and the midwife all the time she is in the operating theatre and in the recovery ward. In the recovery ward her baby is weighed and put to the breast . And she can go home when she is ready and wants. This may be as early as 2 or 3 days after her delivery. I have had patients even driving 2 weeks after a Caesarean section.

    For my new antenatal patient the door is open and I said I am happy to support her in what SHE DECIDES as long as there are no obstetric contraindications.

    Because of her history and the associated emotional scarring I suspect she will decide on an elective Caesarean section. Another patient who had to have an elective Caesarean section first time for a non-recurring problem is more likely to request a VBAC.

    I don’t know that ‘having a natural birth means it is better for the bub and my own recovery afterwards’. Yes if all went very well. But there is the uncertainly that it may not and if it does not it is potentially much more hazardous for you and bub

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