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  • Q&A with Australian Health Practitioners

    How do I manage with lifelong depression?

    Related Topics
    Anxiety Depression Mental Health
    I am a 40 yr old single mum of two boys (8 & 10). I was first diagnosed with Depression at 16. There have been many ups and downs. Lots of professional help & medication. LOTS of very hard work and many, many successes. It's changed over the years and incorporated Anxiety & Panic Attacks and almost social phobia, which I fight.

    I'm better now than I've ever been and I'm in an incredibly good position considering where I've been but I just can't escape the … “sadness” despite being quite happy.

    I'm not currently on meds because the side affects for me outweigh the benefits.
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  • Lucy Prieto

    Psychologist

    Our philosophy is to empower individuals by assisting them in discovering their own inner potentials and strengths without judgments, and viewing them as unique and … View Profile

    My recommendation would be to deal with the anxiety symptoms first developing a number of strategies to help you managing them. Then, explore what are the roots of depression and work with those issues. My recommendation is also that you develop a ‘Life Style’ which is based on healthy coping strategies that you would be practising daily and would assist you in releasing the good chemicals in your brain to manage your long term depression. Lucy Prieto, Psychologist  

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  • Josie72

    HealthShare Member

    Thanks Lucy. That's pretty much what I do/ have done. Developing a ‘Life Style’ that allows me to cope is made hard by the inescapable fact that I am a single mum with 100% responsiblity. The boys dad isn't around and my mum can only provide minimum physical/ time based support. I've clean my life of toxic people and am surrounded by people that are emotionally supportive. Centrelink has in the past made things worse because of their requirement, although that is mostly worked out now and we have established a balance. They became more supportive when I had a breakdown in the office and they saw that I was trying and not just making excuses. I'm also working with my Couscelor to identify the root cause of my Depression and changing my perspective and thinking patterns… So I Suppose… I'm on the right track and must just keep on working

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  • 3

    Agrees

    Renee Mill

    Clinical Psychologist, Psychologist

    Empowering people is my passion and life work. I have been working as a Clinical Psychologist in private practice for over thirty years. I have … View Profile

    Once you have had depression in the past, it is easy to interpret all "down" feelings as depression. Sadness is not depression and one can be sad about situations but not depressed. 

    Now that you are much better, and even "quite happy", I recommend that you be mindful of when you are sad and see if it coincides with events that would make any person sad such as: a job loss, children acting up or not doing well at school, financial strain and relationship blues.

    Another cause of sadness can be an "existential vacuum". This means feeling empty and finding life meaningless. It is common at age 40 - the midlife crisis stage. It is also common when you are carrying the load of two kids on your own and it all just feels too much.

    Once you have identified where your sadness comes from, you can choose from various options such as mindfulness practice, finding a purpose or simply experiencing the feeling without pathologising it. 

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  • Josie72

    HealthShare Member

    I have developed several technics to determine the difference between Sadness and Depression for me, which I wont go into.

    The whole 40 thing is irrelavent for me - that all comes down to how one "feels" about their age. I'm good on that front. Actually found 40 to be very freeing. I'm now 42.. This post was 2 years ago.

    I have since been diagnosed with BPD with Aspergers Traits and I am doing DBT and I have finally found a therapist that is more interested in helping me rather than making money or proving their therapy is better than any other.

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    Thanks

    Dr Simon Easterbrook-Smith

    Health Professional

    My research interests include immunology and the mechanisms of amyloid formation. The latter has implications for people who are dealing with Alzheimer's Disease, Parkinson's Disease … View Profile

    I agree with what Renee wrote about mindfulness - it is something that my clinical psychologist taught me and I have found it very helpful in dealing with my depression.

    In this context what it means is to learn to notice, without judgement, my thoughts and feelings as they come and go:

    "Hmm, that is interesting - it is a thought or a feeling. I can watch it without judging it as it passes out of my awareness. Thoughts and feelings just are, they come and go. They do not define me any more than the fact that I have blue eyes does."

    Finding a mental health professional with experience of using mindfulness methods with his/her clients could help you.

    All the best.

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  • Margie Ulbrick

    Counsellor

    I am a Melbourne Relationship Counsellor and Family Lawyer who is skilful in helping people get out of the pain of relationship distress and create … View Profile

    I'm glad you have found a therapist who works well for you. There are things that are just plain sad, inescapably sad. You say that you are sad even though you are happy. This is an interesting thing to know. That is, that feelings come and go. They pass. And even though this may sound tough, they are just feelings. Like stories which we tell ourselves. These are just thoughts strung together from our beliefs and from the meaning we make of events, situations and things that happen. So next time you notice the sadness, maybe it will help to notice that a part of you is sad but there are other parts too. What do they feel? See if you can notice a tiny bit of space between the sadness and you and breathe into this place. This is the part that notices and observes the feelings but is not the feelings themselves. When you loosen up the identification with the feelings you can manage to have them, without them having you. And then they are not so overwhelming. All the best.

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