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  • Q&A with Australian Health Practitioners

    What is the best way to discipline my 13 year old daughter ?

    Related Topics
    Parenting Parenting Teenagers (13-18)
    Our 13 year old daughter always answers us back and thinks she has equal rights as us as parents, she stands up to her dad in a disrespectful manner, will not answer any of his questions as she says she doesn't have to and if he lays one finger on her , she will get him locked up. We need help in what to do, she is screaming the house down if we say she is not aloud on the computer or to hand her phone over
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  • 13

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    Grant Dempsey

    Counsellor

    With a passion to see people move forward and break free from the barriers holding them back, Grant is a highly experienced counsellor with over … View Profile

    Parenting teenagers is a mission at the best of times and each child has their own peculiarities which has to be taken into account. It's a toug, complicated and complex task which is why people aren't queing up to answer your question. I struggle myself with my kids so am reluctant to offer too much advice. I'd suggest you get a book called
    The Politically Incorrect Guide To Teenagers: Before Your Teenagers Drive You Crazy
     by a Nigel Latta, a NZ Psychologist 

    He has outlined some great tips and strategies for parenting teenagers, If you read this and discuss with your husband how you can apply some of the ideas it will hopefully help you;

    • both get on the same page
    • provide consistancy in your parenting
    • stick with your values
    • be more creative in your solutions

    Certainly I'm finding technology is one of the key areas of conflict in my family and one we are constantly battling with to be ‘fair’ but also break the addiction kids have to it. 

    Another book you might consider is 'Growing Great Girls by Ian & Mary Grant - check your local library, they may be able to get a copy fo you.

    My quick tips - be consistent but also flexible, be reasonable, focus on the war - not the particular battle, take advantage of the quiet times to have fun with your daughter, and don't forget to breathe!

    Good luck.

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  • 7

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    Will Dobud

    Social Worker

    I aim to provide adventure therapy programs to adolescents that are transformational and progressive. With True North Expeditions, my aim is to offer a program … View Profile

    Hi there, 

    Grant gave really good advice here. I run outdoor adventure programs for teenagers working through anger and depression. If you think things are getting rough I would be happy to chat with you about some possibilities. Teenagers are really tough to parent and most often act out of impulsivity and emotions. Teaching some skills are self-regulation and setting goals can really help them maintain a focus. In our practice with True North Expeditions we get a lot of our clients interested in journalling each day which really helps. 

    For parents, we often recommend that they read Giving the Love that Heals which is a really practical guide to parenting approaches. Its a fantastic read and easy to understand. With True North we run outdoor expedition for 14-days and see this as a fantastic time for “disruption” from problem behaviours and environments. Our teens are so busy with technology and everything is so fast that teens are seen to be more defiant and depressed than ever. When they get used to the outdoor expedition, get back on a normal sleep cycle, disengage from technology and work with their counsellor in the bush it really works to get them back to a more centred way of being. If you would be interested feel free to check us out at www.truenorthexpeditions.com.au 

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  • 4

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    Adrian Harris

    Social Worker

    Clinical Social Worker and Couple / Family TherapistFounder of Harris CounsellingAs a counsellor and social worker, Adrian has devoted the past decade to building and … View Profile

    Relationship is essential before behaviour, not the other way around. How would you build relationship with a friend if you were in the same situation with them? 

    Try this watching this video:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eVDMATVzhTk

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    Vivienne Colegrove

    Counsellor

    I have been working in Eltham, Melbourne as a relationship and family counsellor for over twelve years. I draw on current theory and research about … View Profile

    Many excellent suggestions already made here by others. I would add - Tuning in to Teens is a terrific parenting program - here is the link to their website, courses for parents run locally across Australia. http://www.tuningintokids.org.au

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