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I want to help her, I know that telling her how I feel now isn't the right time but I want to be there for her she has supported me so much in the past I feel I owe it to her
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to your account or now (it's free).Health Professional
Generally my suggestion would be to just sit with your friend, letting her know that you will listen (without judging) to whatever she wants to talk about.
More specifically, as far as her self-injury (“cutting”) is concerned, you could suggest that she joins this support forum: http://buslist.org/phpBB/index.php .
It is a world-wide community which supports people who self-injure and encourages them to find other (more helpful) coping mechanisms.
Declaration of interest: I am one of its volunteer administrators.
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to your account or now (it's free).HealthShare Member
They have taken her phone so I still have no contact (yet) to be honest I'm not 100% sure what the spacific reason she us being kept in for or where (could be a few reasons) I found out some from work and not too much being a privacy thing, I think I only got told because I was being asked questions, as soon as it seems appropriate I will bring up the forum, thank you for your time and help :)
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to your account or now (it's free).Psychologist
I wholly support Simon’s response – be present with your friend, non-judgmentally, with kindness and compassion. And encourage her to make connections with both others who are also suffering (eg via the online forum) and professional helpers. With some luck, your friend is receiving some good psychological support whilst an inpatient, and this may lead to recognition of the value of longer term psychological interventions. Encourage and support any moves your friend makes towards learning healthy new skills in the face of her experience of suffering.
Please also be kind to yourself – recognise times when your friend may lash out and hurt you, and speak (gently but assertively) about your own boundaries. Sharing your friend’s journey will call for compassion. You may be interested to develop your compassion-awareness by doing some of the audio exercises freely available at http://www.self-compassion.org/guided-self-compassion-meditations-mp3.html and http://mindfulselfcompassion.org/meditations_downloads.php
More information about compassion is also available at these websites.
I wish you and your friend well.
Jenny
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