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  • Q&A with Australian Health Practitioners

    Im changing into a crying nutjob... how do I save my relationship?

    I have suffered from depression for the past 2 years pretty badly but I got better and went off the meds. I was going good for about 2-3 months but I think it might have started again.

    My beautiful bf has been so supportive and I love him more than anything. But lately I have been abnormally jealous (over nothing) crying when he leave to go see friends, been sooky and needy, which I have never been any of these things. I can tell its driving him mad. And I'm scared I'm am driving him away. When he's with me, we are the perfect couple, I feel safe and loved. But when he leaves I feel as if I'm literally dying and I just cry and cry over nothing… I don't know what to do…
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  • Michelle Linmore

    Counselling Psychologist, Counsellor, Psychologist, Sex Therapist

    Depression sure can put a heavy burden on relationships.  

    It sounds like a good time to return to whatever strategies helped your mood improve in the past -were you exercising? making an effort to get out? seeing a counsellor?  It's probably important to return to your doctor to review your mood and take some really proactive steps to feel better in yourself as this will help you feel more confident to tackle the relationship fallout.

    To help your relationship it will probably assist to acknowledge together what is happening.  Ideally you'd aim to be working together against the problem rather than you feeling as though YOU are the problem.  It may be important to acknowledge that it is stressful for partners when depression triggers jealousy, neediness etc so your bf might appreciate reassurance that you are aware of the issue and you are taking proactive steps to improve your mood.  Your partner may also appreciate permission to debrief with a trusted friend,  some guilt free breaks to do whatever he likes, or the odd date night where you avoid difficult topics and concentrate on having some fun together.

    Don't be afraid to suggest some couples counselling as having a neutral person in the room can really help you to hear each other differently and come up with a plan about how to tackle this in ways that protect your relationship.

  • Lenzo78

    HealthShare Member

    It is also important to become a strong entity on your own and rely on your bf to provide you with happiness. It is a responsibility you can't demand and if one day he leaves you will be back to square one. When you feel insecure, rationalize things and take a chill pill ;)

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