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  • Q&A with Australian Health Practitioners

    How do I live with the loss of my son?

    Related Topics
    Bereavement Depression Mental Health
    Living with the loss of my son to depression
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  • sharnelle

    HealthShare Member

    I feel as a mother and granny i have to get out there that depression does kill. i lost my darling son who was 36 and a father off 2 to depression 2 years august just gone.he took his own life and no one off the family saw it coming. not only he has taken his life he has taken much off the familys life. as we all still cant come to terms with it all. he used to get low /but he was a fit man and hardly ever drunk or took drugs.he beleaved that he didnt have depression and never went to get help for it.i am 56 and me my self have lived with this killer depression my self all these years. we must stay strong as into days world it is the biggest killer in the world today we must talk about depression always have time for people if they need to talk to you even if you dont feel to good your self. r.i.p my darling son till we meet in heaven your loving mum……..

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  • Matthew Bishop

    Counsellor

    . View Profile

    I suspect that Michael and I are in agreement: grief is not a medical condition, and you would benefit not so much from medical help as from bereavement support to work through your grief.  This can take the form of counselling, a support group, a suicide bereavement helpline, etc.  There are also many books and websites that can help and be easily found through google.  There are specialist counsellors like myself in your area if you live in a city, or there are services such as the Suicide Call Back Service for free 24/7 telephone and online counselling for people bereaved by suicide (Ph 1300 659 467).  It is normal to feel as though you will never get past the deep intensity of your emotions in the first few months of such grief.  Most people feel this way, and then discover as time goes on that they can connect once again with life and find a new way of relating, with greater peace, to their lost loved one.  But it takes time and acceptance of the pain.     

        

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  • Millie Simic

    Arts Therapist

    I am an art therapist in private practice after graduating from the University of Queensland’s (School of Medicine), Masters of Mental Health-Art Therapy program.Since graduation … View Profile

    May I firstly say how sorry I am at the loss of your beloved son. Your question: “How do I live with the loss of my son?” Answer: With love and compassion for him and for yourself as his mother.
    I lost my son ten years ago in a motorbike accident and the hardest thing to find was any sort of comfort or soothing reassurance.  Is it the same for you?
    It's very difficult to say what I want to say to you in this brief forum, but I'll try. It may take, at least up to the 8 year mark for you to feel some peaceful normalcy, it all depends on the understanding support you have around you.  The sadness never quite leaves but the pain and catastrophic heartbreak dissolves and morphs into the love you have always felt for your child and the love he has for you. The physical separation is so painful and can only subside with time however the love you have for each other can never be taken away.
    Whenever I felt that special love for my son the pain subsided. It's also important to talk about your beautiful boy, then he will never be really ‘gone.’ He was a part of your life, still is and always will be, in a very profound way.
    The only book that had a deep and comforting impact on my grieving process was: “Unattended Sorrow” by Stephen Levine. Your library may have it in stock.
    Some experiences in life have no real words to describe them and at times they are so unsharable, this phenomena is what a mother has to live through but I’d like you to know that you will live through this and find your own way to peace, love and fulfilment with your son at your side in spirit. My love and compassion is with you.
     

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