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  • Q&A with Australian Health Practitioners

    Why do I feel like my husband and kids deserve better than me?

    Related Topics
    Anxiety Depression Mental Health
    I'm 27, married and have two children. I'm a stay at home mum during the day but work at Coles doing night fill durin the night. I have suffered from depression since I was a teenager but I feel like the reason I am depressed is because I also have really low self esteem and am a bit socially phobic. I try do hard to change the way I think and talk to myself but still deep down I just hate the person I am and wish I could be better. I've always felt awkward around people and I hate the way I look. Even though my husband tells me all the time I'm beautiful I still look at myself and just feel ugly. I go to the gym a few times a week which helps make me feel better because sometimes I think if I look normal well I can just blend in and people won't notice how stupid I am. But It only works to a certain extant because I still feel stupid and awkard all the time.

    I also seem to be more depressed when I am working. I can't seem to cope. But also feel lonely being stuck at home.
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  • 9

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    Motherof2

    HealthShare Member

    Sorry about all the typos. 

    I just wanted to add but there wasn't enough room left that I do feel suicidal sometimes. But I would never act on it because I couldn't do that to my family. But I am finding it hard to cope with day to day life and I wish I could go to a hotel and sleep for a few days. I feel sorry for my husband because he is always so supportive and deserves so much better. My kids deserve better too but they don't really have a choice. I am their mother and I have to be strong for them. I just don't really know what to do. Is it also selfish if I don't want to work? I feel much more relaxed and organised at home when im
    not working. We manage financially when I wasn't but I also know the extra money helps and my husband really wants me to work. Sorry for complaining. I am glad though that I didn't just put all this on my husband.

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    Dr Louise Shepherd

    Clinical Psychologist, Psychologist

    I am a clinical psychologist with 15 years experience working with all sorts of goals and issues. I love working with people, helping them to … View Profile

    Great advice from Grant. I feel very sad reading about your situation and hope you do decide to seek some assitance to learn more effective ways to care about yourself. 

    Our mind can play such awful tricks and we can believe all sorts of terrible things about ourselves - learning skills to not believe this stuff so much may really help.

    Finding a psychologist as Grant suggests is a great step. You might want to ask your GP about Cognitive Behavioural Therapy or Acceptance and Commitment Therapy to learn some skills to start living a better life - the one you deserve

    Wishing you well. 

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    Motherof2

    HealthShare Member

    Thank you both for your kind responses and advice :) 
    I have a referral to see a psychologist. I've actually had it for about 6 months but have kept putting it off just because of the cost. I will make an appointment though now. I know how important it is to be happy and healthy for my family and me. I really want to be. I'm so lucky and have no reason to feel this way so hopefully with help I can change to way I think :) I'm feeling much better this week too.
    Thanks so much again. 

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