I love him soooo much and I only want to be there to support him and help him and enjoy a life with him, but I feel so isolated because I feel like there is a lot happening in his life that he doesn't share with me. Probably cause if he tells me he's worried I will stuff things up and make things worse. Cause it seems I don't even need to talk to anyone to be able to do that! Again - this must be more proof - I must be bad. Maybe I deserve to be alone and miserable. If I can't make other people happy, what right should I have to be happy.
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I endorse what Grant said about cognitive behavioural therapy - it has been a major factor in my recovery from depression. Essentially it involves learning (usually with help from a clinical psychologist) to notice unhelpful thoughts and then to challenge them - in effect asking yourself “Hang on, is there any evidence for the validity of that thought?”. Very often the answer is “No.” which can be empowering.
All the best.
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