Counsellor
Thank you for sharing. There are several questions that you can ask yourself to dig deeper. For example, is depression causing work issues, or is work causing depression? Or maybe it is a mix of both, or other factors too?
Perhaps taking more time off will be helpful, or perhaps there are modifications you can make in your work life that might help.
If your work has an EAP program, it might help to reach out and explore further too. I'm a big advocate for journalling so would encourage trying that if it's for you. Try to be gentle with yourself.
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It's difficult to answer fully with so little information, but I will try give some ideas and maybe you can use the ones that resonate with you and are relevant... Depression can be caused by different things...perhaps past trauma, genetics, a difficult current situation in life, etc. If you are not using anti-depressants or getting therapy, these are important options to consider. If you are and it's not helping, then perhaps it's time to revisit your GP and maybe even get a referral to a Psychiatrist to find the best medication match for you. If there is a history of trauma, I would suggest seeing a therapist trained in trauma techniques such as EMDR or Brainspotting. At the moment your job is feeling like it's too much, but I worry that leaving your job may cause you to feel like you have no purpose in life and just get more depressed and give up on life. Having some kind of a sense of purpose or accomplishment for your day is important to get out of a time of depression...but if you feel like your job is what's causing your depression, or that you can barely brush your teeth, let alone get up to go to work, then it may be good to take a break from work...but with the purpose of working on your depression so it can improve, not just leaving your job with no plan. Try to stick to a good routine every day, do something small every day to give you a sense of purpose or accomplishment (even if your goal for the day is to just take a shower and brush your teeth), hang out with animals, spend as much time as you can outside in nature, try to sleep at night and be awake and outside in natural light a lot during the day. Research "SAD lamps", you can buy them on Amazon and they can really help us improve our mood. Have a small goal for every day, like today I will clean out one drawer and throw out the trash that came out of it. This will give you a sense of meaning and purpose. Force yourself to stay in touch with at least one close friend and make sure that this friend knows what you are going through. If you can't afford therapy, I would suggest putting yourself on the waitlist at a Sonder near you (they can do telehealth too if you don't live close enough) so you can eventually see a therapist for free when your turn comes up. If your employer has an EAP program, you may be able to access a few sessions of therapy for free through that. To help your brain retrain itself to see the good and better things in life again, journal every day on what was good about today, what did I do well today, what did I see today that was beautiful, what am I thankful for, etc. This forces your brain to see the good too, not just the bad, which is what Depression forces your brain into. Hope this helps...
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