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  • Q&A with Australian Health Practitioners

    how can you tell if your depressed or just sad?

    Related Topics
    Depression Mental Health
    i married my husband in october and he took a bag and left in december.but he wont talk about anything and comes and goes as he pleases.i feel so sad i cry all the time it can be a week or two before he comes home.i just want to work 7 days a week.i feel so overwhelmed on my days off just sitting here.i now have to sell my house and move cause i cant upkeep it.he feel so isolated i have tried to seek counselling but they never rang me back and now i feel too embarrased.on the outside i am smiling but on the inside i feel totally broken
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  • Dr Melanie Strang

    Counsellor

    Sorry to hear that things have been so tough for you.
    The difference between sadness and depression is that the symptoms of depression are there for most days and most of the time for longer than 2 weeks. The symptoms interfere with your function either socially or at work. Also a person will have 4 or more of the following symptoms which can be found at: http://www.beyondblue.org.au/index.aspx?link_id=89.579
    If you need help please contact your GP as a first port of call and they will be able to help organise a counsellor or assess if other treatment is required.
    If you feel suicidal please tell someone or go to your nearest hospital with an emergency department.
    You might want to call Lifeline on 131114 if you need immediate help and assistance- someone is there to counsel you 24 hours a day.

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    elizajane

    HealthShare Member

    thanks for your reply i have called lifeline on a few occasions.they told me i need to see speak to someone but it is too difficult in this country town.it has been 4 months and i no longer go any where or even walk my dog anymore nor visit my family .i know i have to make a change .i am thinking that just get over it what doesnt kill you makes you stronger.my daughter had mental problems and tried to kill herself a few years back and i was not very supportive so i feel as if i just have to deal with everything myself as i expected her to just get on with it.i work at the hospital so i would not even think of going there and asking for help either ,thankyou for taking the time to answer my question i do really appericiate it

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  • Dr Melanie Strang

    Counsellor

    I am pleased you are using lifeline and hope you will continue to if you need it.
    I understand that in country towns resources are fewer and issues of confidentiality may stop you from asking for help. Is there a town nearby where you can seek help? Is there a GP who is available to talk to?
    If you have Depression it is not something that you “just have to get on with”  – with help from professionals, it will get better.
    It sounds as if you feel guilty for not supporting your daughter, it also sounds as if you are being very hard on yourself.
    I  hope you are able to reach out for some help.

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    Damien Haines

    Clinical Psychologist, Psychologist

    Damien Haines is a registered Clinical Psychologist who brings a warm and empathetic approach to therapy. He emphasises engagement in the world and encourages clients … View Profile

    You sound like you are in a terrible place. It sounds like an awful act of betrayal. I can also understand wanting to work as much as possible, I imagine it helps you to keep that mask on so you may feel a little normal for some of your day. I'm also saddened to hear that the counsellor you contacted did not return your call. I hope that there is a legitimate reason for this.

    To answer your first question depression is not just a diagnosis, it is also an emotional state that everyone experiences. I would suggest that feeling anything other than depressed would be unusual after such events. We tend to think about depression as a more exagerated/intense sadness. A similarity might be frustration -> anger -> hate. From a diagnostic persepctive Depression is where that sadness is too extreme for the situation. This may mean intensity, duration, or the impact it has on your life. It would sound like you are having significant difficulty adjusting to your unexpected life plans.

    I would persist trying to gain access to a psychologist through your GP (a list of psychologists can be found here http://www.psychology.org.au/FindaPsychologist). Also try to call them first and talk to them before getting a referal from your GP, that way you may get to know them a little better from a list on a page and it may help you decide who you would like on that referal letter.
    I wish you well and look forward to hearing about your progress.

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  • elizajane

    HealthShare Member

    thankyou very much for your conncern and taking the time to read my story and replying a small act like that makes a big difference to me .thankyou

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