Suffering from Depression and Panic Attacks

Hi,

I was in a similar position last year before I went on anti-depressants. At first I was Totally against using these but it has stabilised me to the point that I can now work again! Not sure if you are on any but it takes a while for them to work ( you will feel worse before feeling better). My thoughts and prayers are with you. Do not despair - there is a whole community out there who have similar experiences!

Hi Helen,
You're doing it tough by the sounds of it; I'm sorry to hear that.  I'm not sure where you are in rural Queensland but my first piece of advice would be to connect with you GP.  I know it's difficult when you have young children to find this time for you, but for their sake and yours, please try.  Anti-depressants are not for everyone, but as the previous commenter noted, they can be extremely helpful and this is a conversation you can have with your GP - it doesn't have to be a long-term solution but sometimes they can help ‘lift’ you to a point where you can start to see some light at the end of the tunnel. 
I would also ask your GP about a Mental Health Care Plan (let the receptionist know you'd like to book in a longer appointment so you've got time to discuss this with your doctor).  If you're not familiar with them, a Mental Health Care Plan will let you access a psychologist/clinical psychologist for 6 sessions (potentially more) to discuss your depression and panic attacks.  These are medicare-rebated (you get $83.25 back for each appointment).  Perhaps you could ask another parent or a neighbour to look after your 4 year old while you attend appointments or schedule them fortnightly for when your husband is back in town.
I work with people with depression and panic attacks and I know how debilitating they can be - add in your social isolation and I know you are suffering at the moment.  There is a light.   Please contact your GP and get some advice about how to work through this? 
All the best.
Carla

"I sometimes get these crippling panic attacks which start with a sick feeling in the stomach, then i cant breathe,"

Often panic attacks have a purely physiological basis (not meaning to invalidate you here).

They can arise from hyperventilation (= breathing too shallowly so the CO2 levels in your blood get messed up).

A breathing exercise can help:

(1) Sit quietly, with your hands around your navel, fingers just touching.

(2) Breathe in deeply so your stomach expands and your fingers move apart.

(3) Count to three.

(4) Breathe out deeply so your stomach contracts and your fingers touch again.

(5) Count to three.

(6) Repeat (2) - (5) for about ten minutes.

It usually works.

Hi  Helen
Im Ally you are so not alone Hun , I too find  life very  hard ,  and feel very under valued. 
I hate the anxiety I feel, shaking short of breath,and the list goes on. Then good old depression rears its ugly head  and once again the battle begins, feeling  sad and anxious and wait for it.    A ways jumpy at the slightest of noises come to think of it I can't remember what it feels like in the real world . I really hope to hear from you Helen.

I understand Helen, I suffer from anxiety & depression & sometimes I literally just lock myself in my home & can't imagine facing the world. My husband try's to understand but I know he doesn't & he too can work away for upto a month at a time, I find though he has become my security, I feel even worse when he is gone but I'm starting to worry I'm putting too much on him & I may soon scare him away. I did recently see a new doctor who has tried me on a new medication & so far I feel better than what I did, not 100% yet but better & I've started to try & work out more often, the struggle within means I don't do it as often as I should but I have noticed I do feel better when I do, even just purchase a few DVDs to do.