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  • Q&A with Australian Health Practitioners

    When should I be concerned about someone who is severely depressed?

    Related Topics
    Depression Mental Health
    I always thought that depression was a phase and that people will eventually get out of the hole with treatment/medications. However, my friend has been depressed for almost a year and I am quite worried. When is it normal for me to become VERY concerned? (because I already am!)
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  • Dr Louise Shepherd

    Clinical Psychologist, Psychologist

    I am a clinical psychologist with 15 years experience working with all sorts of goals and issues. I love working with people, helping them to … View Profile

    Tough situation and a very common one. Depression affects all of us in some way at some stage so it is great to have some ideas about how to help. Your friend is very lucky to have you - the support and concern of a good friend is vital, especially in big cities in which people often live alone or at least quite independent lives. 

    Grant has some great advice above. 

    I'd add that you might want to simply share your anxiety / worry about your friend and also that you are concerned that you don't have the expertise to help. Perhaps saying something like, “I'm feeling really anxious lately about you and at times worrying that you are having such a tough time. Would you consider talking to your GP, or seeing a health professional who knows more about this than I do?” If the friend says no you could think about who you know in common and let them know…….for instance a flatmate or sister / parent of your friend. I'd encourage you to check first but don't promise anything you don't feel comfortable about. I'd be a bit inclined if you are very concerned to say, “have you told your mum / sister / girlfriend how bad you're feeling?” If not then perhaps you could say, “I'm so worried about you and miss your smiling face / want you to feel ok again and so if you are not going to tell them I think i might need to. I don't like being the only one who knows about this”. 

    Another approach is to encourage your friend to get out more - perhaps to meet you in the park, go for a walk, see a movie…….avoid pubs if they tend to drink too much!!! Exercise and getting out and about have been shown to be important for helping someone who is depressed.

    beyondblue or Lifeline or Kidshelpline might be good places for you to get some ideas - or as Grant suggests you could consult wtih a psychologist.

    Hope it all works out ok and that your friend gets appropriate help soon :-)

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