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  • Q&A with Australian Health Practitioners

    Am I depressed?

    Related Topics
    Depression Mental Health
    Hi, i'm a 35 year old female and it's only occured to me today that I may be depressed. Or am I?

    In my heart I know i'm a happy person with lots of love around me, and feel “theoretically” I have a good sense of my own self worth and know i have many strengths. My family and friends see the happy, funny, confident, sociable me. I'm the dependable friend who is always there for others and has a caring, giving nature. I get glowing reports from my employers - yet none of them know I feel like I'm walking under a cloud.

    But more and more I find myself feeling alone. I feel like I could be in a room with a thousand people yet still feel lonely. More frequently, I have days off work where I just want to sit at home on my own and watch TV and eat because it all just feel too hard.

    Over the years i have gradually given up all the things that used to mean alot to me (singing, music, exercise, socialising etc) and prefer spending more time on my own.

    What is going on with me?
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  • 1

    Thanks

    Anonymous

    …..  I should also add that I have a loving husband who adores me, yet I feel completely unloved.
    I know I am worthy of love and that his intentions are honourable. We do share different views on what we want for our future (e.g. I want to have a family, he doesn't etc) but in general we have a wonderful relationship.

    Yet everyday I feel like i'm wondering the planet alone….

    Is this normal??

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    Thanks

    Anonymous

    ….. I should also add that I have previously been to doctors complaining of tiredness and fatigue and after several rounds of blood tests have been declared a healthy 35 year old female.

    So hormones, thyroid function and other typical tests are coming back normal.

    Yet i'm plagued with fatigue and feel like I have to force myself to find the energy to get through each day. Even on the days i'm happy.

    I do exercise regularly and find that I can go for a couple of weeks living a normal happy life, but then I get so tired from putting in all the effort to keep myself active and try to look after myself that I end up on the couch in front of the TV again… eating…  crying… feeling stupid.

    I don't talk to people about these issues because I don't want to bother them with my silly issues. I feel like i'd be adding stress and tension to their day and nobody would be interested in listening. So I haven't sought help. I haven't even told my husband I feel this way. yet I suspect he knows but hasn't said anything.

    so….  what is going on with me?  could this be depression?  what do I do?

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  • Gillian

    HealthShare Member

    If I was you the first thing I would do is go and talk to a clinical pyschologist, there are so many reasons you could be feeling this way and it need not necessarily mean taking drugs.  Have you tried any relaxation or meditation tapes? Sometimes we just need something to help take all the stress out of life.

    Another thing, you MUST tell your husband after all he is your other half.
    Don't delay, there is lots of help around and your GP should be able to start you off in the right direction.

    Lots of luck, you will be in my prayers.

    Gillian

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  • Dee2503

    HealthShare Member

    Hi guys, thanks for your comments. I went to my GP but he did not believe i felt depressed because I wasnt in tears and on the surface appear to be a normal happy person. I tried to explain to him that its how i feel on the inside and to get through life I mask how I feel, otherwise I would not do anything. He said “if you were really depressed you wouldnt be able to hide it”. 
    I disagree because tthey say depression is the silent killer amd half the time you would never know because the person hides it so well, yet on their own is the deepest struggle. 
    So my challenge now is to find a GP who understands and believes me.
    Ive also registered and been accepted into an online clinical study through macquarie uni so this may help me find some ways to manage day to day.
    My husband is not supportive of me 

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  • Dr Kate Lemerle

    Psychologist

    Kate is a Psychologist with 40 years' diverse experience as a practitioner and educator. She established Chrysalis Wellness Services (now operating as Chrysalis Counselling and … View Profile

    I've also followed the previous comments and agree with Grant's suggestion about finding a  GP who listens to you and agrees that gettinga  specialist diagnosis woud make sense. Psychologists have a available a number of psychological tests that can help identify the nature of your illness. For example, often depression is diagnosed yet when we do a psychological assessment the real issue is an anxiety disorder, and you're simply feeling “down” because of the high levels of agitation (even if this is just internal processing of events and circumstances around you).

    For a diagnosis of depression, you need to meet 5 or more of the following criteria for most of the day nearly every day for at least 2 weeks:
    1. depressed mood (observable to others as well as yourself)
    2. marked loss of interest or pleasure in most almost all activities
    3. significant weight loss without dieting
    4. insomnia or hypersomnia (sleeping too much)
    5. either agitation or retardation of physical activity
    6. fatigue or loss of energy
    7. feelings of worthlessness or guilt
    8. difficulty thinking, concentrating, or making decisions
    9. recurrent thoughts of death (or suicidal thinking)

     You could go through this list from the DSM-IV and if you tick enough boxes, take it with you to the GP and ask assertively for a referral to a psychologist, so you can then calim back the Medicare rebate.

    If you don't tick enough of the boxes for a diagnosis of depression, there are other conditions that might be making you feel the way you do. For example, often people feel “depressed” after a series of significant changes in their lives (e.g. death of someone close, moving house, change of job, kids moving out of home etc). Think back over the past 5 years or so, and if there've been a few big changes, consider that you might be grieving. Or have you had a significant loss years earlier but never really “resolved” it? Does it keep playing on your mind, or are you trying to repress it rather that resolve it? Again, if you answered “yes” to these questions, talking about the issues confidentially with a psychologist would be the best way to move forward.

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