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Q&A with Australian Health Practitioners
Why do I keep hitting my child?
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I have 3 year old child, I hit her even for small mistake. I don't know why..please help. She was with grand parents from 4 months to 2.5 years because of our hardship. Now she is with me. Very first day she told me shut up and I was so angry and hit her. From that day I don't feel love to her. But I know she is my kid. I want to be a good mum. Please help me -
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Grant Dempsey
Counsellor
With a passion to see people move forward and break free from the barriers holding them back, Grant is a highly experienced counsellor with over … View Profile
Hi, good on you for recognising you are having some difficulties. People often think they should naturally be great parents but the reality is it is hard work for many people, especially when you are under stress through hardship. I'd suggest a couple of things;
- try and organise some regular breaks for you and your daughter, perhaps with your parents or in a childcare centre.
- find out where your nearest Family Relationship Centre is, these are Govt. funded centres run by various agencies to support families. They are there to help you so utilise them. You can find out about them and their locations here
- I'd also suggest you see if there is a Tuning Into Kids course running near you. This is a terrific course that will help you and your daughter. The website is here
- if none of these are available then pop into your local neighbourhood or community centre and see what resources re available to assist you. Another option is to give your local Relationships Australia office a call and have a talk to them, they are a great service as well, see here
It is good that you are recognising you are struggling, it is even better if you act on that and get some help now before you end up injuring your daughter so follow up these suggestions and book yourself in to talk to someone NOW, don't put it off, do it NOW.
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Why would you bring a little being to this life just to torment her? From 0 to 3 are the most important years of a human life all you are doing is hurting her Physically and psychologically for life. Would you want this for yourself ? You have no rights over this little girl, you don't own her its not a pet, you are responsible of a life! You should be protecting and nurturing your child.You need psychological help and also seek help to see whats best for your daughter. Dont make her suffer because you do she has done nothing to deserve that.. Turn things around and be proud of you and her and do the best you can. Kids only emulate what they see if she talks badly it's most probably because of her surroundings and education she is exposed to. Body punishment should always be the last resort eg: ligth spank on the bum and accompanied with a good explanation so that they understand. Showing that you are a bit disapointed by the child's behaviour works much better.The hope for a better society lies within our kids.
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Mr Max von Sabler
Clinical Psychologist, Psychologist
http://www.mvsgroup.com.au/ Max is a clinical psychologist working in the public and private health sectors. He currently holds several appointments at Monash Health where he provides … View Profile
Hi there,
This is a challanging situation by the sounds of things. I would recommend that you talk to a clinical psychologist about this. You may be distressed or stressed about other things that are coming out in your relationship with your child, and probably others too. You reference hardship so I suspect this is contributing to your reactions - which may be short-tempered at times.
It's great that you've recognised an issue - seeking the right advice from a psychologist or your GP will be your next best step.
Max - www.mvsgroup.com.au
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