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Q&A with Australian Health Practitioners
What is the best way to deal with depression on your own?
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I have been feeling really down for a long time now and I don't know how to make it better. I know the first piece of advice is to see a G.P but I can't tell anyone how I'm feeling. If I try I get a huge lump in my throat and have to blink away the tears. I hate to cry especially in front of anybody, so I give myself a little shake and go on pretending that everything is ok.I never have been very good at talking about feelings.I put myself on a dose of ST John's wort over the winter but it doesn't seem to have made alot of difference.I know that exercise is supposed to help, but at the moment i always feel too tired to do anything. I feel like I'm failing on all levels, as a mother (my youngest is 6 - so it's not post-natal)as a wife, at everything in general. I don't want to keep feeling this way, everyone misses out when I do. I need to hear some management strategies that can help me beat this on my own. -
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Dr Michelle Pizer
Counselling Psychologist, Organisational Psychologist, Psychologist, Psychotherapist
Dr Michelle Pizer is an independent endorsed counselling and organisational psychologist located in the Melbourne CBD. Providing both counselling and executive coaching services, she helps … View Profile
It sounds like you know what to do but those steps are just too much for you right now. One suggestion that you could try is to keep a gratitude journal. Write down three things each day that you are grateful for. They can be small or big. Anything. Even things like the leaves changing colour now it's Autumn (at least in Melbourne) or something about your family or a friendly exchange in a shop.
You could also try online communities where people write about their experiences. Beyond Blue or Depressionet may have something that suits you. That might help.
Another option, in relation to exercise is to set small achievable goals. Even a walk to the letterbox or to the end of the street and back might be a start and you can gradually build up from there.
It probably is best if you can start to talk to someone. Remember that people like psychologists have boxes of tissues in their rooms for a reason.
I wish you well. I can't imagine how difficult it must be for you holding it together while you're feeling like this.
Michelle
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Karen Amos
Counsellor, Personal Trainer
Walk and Talk is just what you need to begin living a life that you love. I'm Karen Amos and at Walk and Talk Australia … View Profile
Thank you for your question regarding dealing with depression on your own. There are a few good thing about you asking the question. One is that you are dealing with your emotions alone, you are not alone and you might be suprised to know that. Secondly, you have asked for help, and that is a start in asking for help.
As a counsellor, would you believe that sometimes it's hard for me to receive counselling? Yes, I would like to be able to counsel myself through, and with some things I can, but when I reach out I often hear suggestions that I had never thought of, coping skills that I never would have known about and have an ear that I can finally share all with.
Being a mum and wife can sometimes leave us feeling empty and hungry for what we need, but don't make time for because our priorites lie with others around us. You hit the nail on the head when you wrote "everyone misses out when I ".
You can begin with small changes, like Michelle suggested and you can also make some time for you to heal, by finding a helper who suits you. Not only so you can be more to your family, but so you can be more for you too.
There's no need to fear sharing anymore - because you have already begun to face that one.
Best wishes in whatever you choose for you.
Kaz
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Darren Stops
Counsellor, Educational and Developmental Psychologist, Psychologist, Psychotherapist
For assistance with issues including: anxiety & depression, stress, coping & adjustment, personality & relationships sleep & health issues, separation, loss and trauma, post traumatic … View Profile
That's a tough situation to be in. Depression makes it hard to get motivated, even to seek help. I'd be interested to know why you want to deal with this on your own? Sometimes the depression brings such negative thinking about ourselves that we feel that admitting it is further "evidence" of failure. (It's not, - it's the depression - but it's hard to see that when you're down). Unless there are some other factors preventing you from accessing help?
If our car doesn't work, we take it to a mechanic, If we have a broken leg, we go to a hospital - same for our mental health.
If you feel you are not functioning at your best, that's even more reason to get help from someone else, rather than trying to deal with it alone. You need to do it for your child, so he or she has their mum at her best. You need to do it for your relationship, to keep things working. You need to do it for yourself, because it will help you feel better, and function better.
Seeing a Psychologist isn't that scary, talk to your GP. Medication may help lift you out of the hole, too, if it's bad. If you take that first step, you're more than half way there.
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1
Agree
Dr Simon Easterbrook-Smith
Health Professional
My research interests include immunology and the mechanisms of amyloid formation. The latter has implications for people who are dealing with Alzheimer's Disease, Parkinson's Disease … View Profile
I think that the clinical health professionals have offered you great ideas.
I am in remission from clinical depression and one of the bravest things that I have done was to realise that I couldn't (your words) "beat this on my own". So, I had a chat with my GP.
I suggest that you do the same. Your GP will be able to draw up what is officially called a Mental Health Care Plan with you. That might sound a bit frightening but it isn't. A MHCP will give you a number of Medicare-subsidised sessions with mental health professionals (a psychiatrist, a clinical psychologist, etc).
Reaching out for help from professionals is an act of strength, not weakness.
All the best.
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Renee Mill
Clinical Psychologist, Psychologist
Empowering people is my passion and life work. I have been working as a Clinical Psychologist in private practice for over thirty years. I have … View Profile
I agree with all the strategies already given and encourage you to seek help.
You evidence several common symptoms of depression. One is the need to "cocoon" yourself and stay away from others. Another is low energy levels and a third is being teary.
What I suggest is that you visit the Black Dog Institute website and download the "Social and Biological Rhythms Monitoring Form". When you fill it out you will be required to set regular times for eating your main meal, going to bed, exercising and socialising. Research has shown that living with a regular routine (behavioural changes), sets your biological rythms and aids depression.
Good luck!
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