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  • Q&A with Australian Health Practitioners

    How do I seek help for anger management?

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    Clinical Psychologist, experienced psychotherapist and executive coach. I work with depression, anxiety, conflict, emotional and relationship issues and couples therapy. I also specialise in individual … View Profile

    I agree totally with Grant's comment but let me add some more.  Sometimes the anger flashes up before you know it and the most difficult part is to catch it before this happens.  This means developing  self awareness  and presence of mind and one way of learning to do this quickly is to practice deep breathing. It sounds too simple and many people dismiss it but this kind of breathing changes the way your parasympathic nervous system  works and helps you to settle.  Once you master the breathing you should get a pause instead of that rush of anger. This gives you time to think about what your anger is about etc.
    Another tool which I use is training in Crucial Conversations which gives you the skills to say what you want to say without moving to silence or violence.  I find when people can practice crafting difficult conversations they develop more confidence that they will be heard and this also helps to gain presence of mind.  
    So…settle down your body and brain, get time to think about what makes you angry and how you want to respond, then learn the skills to avoid moving to frustrated silence or uncontrolled violence. This way you will become more assertive, you won't destroy your relationships and you  will be able to influence others more constructively. 

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